All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
