Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
