I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
