on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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