I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
