I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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