Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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