I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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