no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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