Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
