okay pat passed out under dana's car
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
