Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
