just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
