So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
