We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
