PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize