Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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