maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
