Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
