Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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