Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
