so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
