just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
