Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
