It's official drugs can't kill me
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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