I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
