You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
