I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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