I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
