He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
