I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
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