does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
