Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
