nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
