dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
