No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
