i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
