dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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