I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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