They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
