Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize