It's Friday. Sex?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Even the bartender felt bad for me
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
