honey bunches of taint.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
