I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Boobs are out for the taking
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
