Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I feel like death gave me a hand job
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize