the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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