When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
