i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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