You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
