Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
