i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Found your dick twin last night
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
