hell yes lets make some ravioli
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
