hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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