PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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