When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
