i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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