it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
