Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Randomize
