Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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