Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
