What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
