i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
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