On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
try to milk me bitch
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
