dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
