i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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