I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
