So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
