waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
