I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
