SEEEEXXX PLEASE
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
