Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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